A Minute To Spare

In This Month of Mental Health Awareness, We Can Change and Even Save Lives- One Minute at a Time

Time. For so many of us it is the most fleeting of resources.   As the pace of life returns to pre-pandemic levels many of us find ourselves overcommitted and overstressed as we try to integrate the demands of work with our personal lives. Others, however, may feel disconnected and isolated- lost within this frenetic pace- or as I hear so often in therapeutic sessions- “Stuck.”  So, as we pass each other every day at work, school, or anywhere in-between, we find ourselves too busy to effectively manage our own stresses and struggles- let alone to see the signs and symptoms of the struggles of those around us.  To be clear, studies show we are not lacking in compassion or a desire to support each other.  What we are lacking in is connection and so much of that is rooted in this concept of time- or, more simply put, this sense that we simply do not have a minute to spare.

The practice of “Presentology”- We see the statistics all around us: a two-fold increase in anxiety and depression within the workplace over the last few years alone.  The continual and ever-growing sense of information overload, the demands upon our time, and the feeling that we are doing too much, not enough- or—inconceivably-- both at the same time.  We ruminate over mistakes we have made, struggle to focus on the task at hand, and fixate on the stressors we see on the horizon- all while potentially missing the most important tense of all- the present.   That’s where the practice of what I call “Presentology” comes in.   While you won’t find it in Websters (or any other dictionary for that matter) Presentology is quite simply being in the present so we can be more tuned into our own feelings- physically and emotionally while also feeling connected and available to those around us.  And, as we become more connected to ourselves and others, the benefits to our own well-being and those around us are truly limitless.  Much more easily said than done, right? Well, it is not only possible to make these subtle and incremental changes, but also achievable –one minute at a time.

Giving and Taking a Minute- While we certainly can have an immeasurable impact on the lives of those around us- our families, friends, and co-workers- Presentology starts with us.  I get it. For many of us, self-care can feel selfish or self-absorbed- and a few years ago, I would have been inclined to agree.  Yet, my training and clinical experience as a therapist, combined with a better understanding of my own mental health has made me an enthusiastic believer in the power of mindful-self-compassion.  We have all heard the analogy of the airplane oxygen mask- ensuring that we apply it to ourselves before affixing it to others.  Well, nowhere is it truer than here.  So, for us to have the capacity to give a minute we must be willing to take a minute to ensure we will be the better version of ourselves when it is time to give a minute to those around us.  Taking minutes for ourselves must be intentional- something we both plan for and take as necessary- while giving time to those around us when they are in need may very well happen at any given moment.  While everyone’s list may be unique to them - here are five examples giving and taking a minute in our daily lives, planned and spontaneously, to ensure we are present for ourselves and when those around us need us most.

Take a Minute (5 ways to take care of yourself in 60 seconds or less): 

1. Drink a glass of water- the connection between physical and emotional well-being is powerful and hydration is foundational. 

2. Reflect on something you are grateful for. Even in the most difficult of times if we can reflect on one thing we are thankful for, it can inspire hope. 

3. Take 10-deep breaths- inhaling through your nose and fully exhaling through your mouth.  Like water, oxygen is essential to our mental and physical well-being.

4. Create and share a mantra with yourself- aloud if you can.  Whether it is something as simple as “I deserve to be happy and I will be” or something more specific creating and sharing – aloud--a mantra helps bridge the gap in your own mind that you deserve something.

5. Smell the roses or listen to the birds, admire the colors of the sky.  Get outside when you can and give your senses a chance to take it all in.

Give a Minute (5 ways to care for others in 60 seconds or less):

1. Write a thank you note- by hand.  A short, personal note of thanks to a family member, friend, or co-worker. Even if you cannot deliver it in person- write it, take a picture of it- and share it with someone in your life. 

2. Hug/ hold someone you love.  While being mindful of the who and where of the embrace is important, taking a moment to connect physically is so important. 

3. Pay someone a compliment.   Like the note of appreciation- recognizing each other in ways big and small demonstrates how aware and present we are. 

4. Small acts of kindness- Simple gestures of any kind that are intended to make life a little less difficult for those around us. 

5. Ask someone how they are- and truly listen to the answer. 

Each one of us feels the effects of time every day.  For some, there is simply too much to do and not enough time to do it, while for others there is an overwhelming sense of being stuck as life and time pass them by.  What is true on either end of this spectrum is how time can affect all of us in ways that lead to disconnection, isolation, and despair. While the ways in which we must improve access to mental health support and enhance workplace wellness may be complex, there are measures we can take in our daily lives to be more present, more attuned to ourselves and to each other.   When it comes to mental health awareness and helping those in crisis, we often emphasize that there is not a minute to spare.  While this may be true on many levels, what is also true is that one way we can all work together is to remember that we absolutely do have a minute to spare and, in those minutes, we can change and save lives every single day.

In April Andrew Morton completed his twelve-month clinical internship as a Mental-Health Counselor at the Veteran’s Center in Alexandria, VA. as part of his Masters in Mental Health Counseling from the College of William and Mary.